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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  determined. | | Music: | Postal Service. |
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Wanna swim through the billows and receive little bitty fish kisses. I want 3am discussions about Woody Allen's brilliance and I want to tell you about that go-cart ride long ago I was made to ride. I wanna kick your ass in a bloody game of poker and watch you spill the pieces. I've made you lose your grip and I can see your fear. You only thought I was sleeping. Watch it fishman cause I can't stop swimming. Still want to those fish kisses so I'm paddling through paranas. Woa the scariness.
Wanna be this pretty baby
http://www.MyOnlineImages.com/Members/vintagerunaway/images/yest_today_lg.jpg
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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I commute like a freakin adult blaring NPR to and fro from T-town working at z rockin consignment shop. Spring break has been a blend of whiskey on the rocks and fresh brewed cups of coffee.
It's bliss to wake up to cool black and sweetener and cereal ready to be poured. Going out late at night and writing til I pass out at 3 a.m. without worries about finishing assignments and making any life changing decisions for a week. Free time is good for the mind and I have had series of random brainstormings, project ideas, yadada.
I know what I need to do, know what I wanna do.
While meeting new peoples all fun and games, meeting certain someones from another town really bites. Especially when they're delightfully liberal, free spirited, sushi buffs, and super artists.
Going out tonight........last day of spring break. Better be the best fucking cup of coffee cup.
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Okay gonna make a list again cause lists have proved so helpful. I'm going to make an outline of things to do to preoccupy the mind and so I can get back into the mode.
Going to do something superficial today because I fucking need it. Yeah I'm gonna feel disgraced but it's better than the current opposite.
Is there an erasing doctor round here?
-gonna get the pics developed and see how they turned out, gonna take some ballet pics, shopping!?? must be sick, gonna blow off some steam,and gonna set my little ass in barnes and noble......yep that's it.
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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
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| Time: | 7:35 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | Traffic outside z window. |
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Want to write a masterpiece. Want to venture back to Hoover's coffeehouse nights and read my late night written scribbles I deamed poetry. I miss melodrama; I miss guaranteed hugs at the end of the day no matter how shitfaced I felt, no matter how duped I was by physics or anything else for that matter.
High school was the time to be stupid and in college, there are no exceptions. If you aren't smart, you better convince yourself of some inner genious because without some freakin self confidance, you a shift at Mac's and fries to go with that.
I don't want fries with that and never did. I like choices and I want control.
Took some control over my life today, got back into the CW groove with some kickin story ideas, developed some stunning pics, and didn't feel stupid despite the three cokes I have downed today.
Was described as intense today.....hmmm true.
Spring break, I'm gonna level you. Gonna get some real food and fire up the stove, sleep under my big yellow comforter back home and read half a day, go get slammin bham chinese food at Mr. Wangs, take an unheard amount of pics, and RELAX, go through r&r therapy.
Maybe run under the sun and get that body hot?
Thoughts right about now: something with black beans, classics marathon, late night cereal binges with a whole cabinet to choose from, downtown Five Points with Soca shop and crazy Einstein haired homeless buds, and philosophical conversations with Bon at B&N, maybe splurging on mint brownies.
What the hell was I thinking? I could never leave Bham. In love and didn't know it.
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Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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| Time: | 10:53 pm. |
| Mood: | awake. | | Music: | "Northern Sky" Nick Drake. |
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Yada yada
I was serenated by jazz music while eating cheap ass mexican food. Can thrifty get anymore genuine?
Got a raise and feel like god of consignment shop. hmmm....finished the damn review I had been ripping my hair out over.
Came up with a rockin story idea.
Had to stumble out of my room messy haired and groggy twice today!!!!! Stupid fire alarm sounding like a fire alarm in the morning and tornado warning! It's abalamamamama and we always get warnings so please tell me what the big deal is? Ahh ahahahahah. Cough. should be studying but the mexican food and coffee put me in such an absolutely positive mood that I want to laugh in someone's face and tell them i don't care.
Could that someone be You? hmm perhaps.
Spring break......means bringing in the cahiers? yeah baby......what a party. More rockin out at consignment shop and some catching on my zzz''s which I really need to relearn.
Oh yeah and peace signs don't make peace.
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Finally time for some chillaxin sitting on a couch awaiting clothes to warm from a cold slumber. Listening to a cd I found on my ipod my friend must have included on the mixed cd he gave me so whoa! Pleasant surprise and I've still got two loads of clothes to go!
Thoroughly modern milly day Saturday at work......I got to be the handy muscles for a day with a skirt I might add. Loving consignment shop for a day, manager, coworkers and all, spastic energetic ride up to Bham on an empty stomach craving sushi and my room with the orgasmic fouton but alas, I give up the fouton for a mangled floor with piles of sleeping bags which proved to offer a decent slumber.
Traded in my skirt for Brit's pants cause the air was a bit frosty and looked like a hippy hobo off the side of the street, rented Party Monster instead of Eternal Sunshine and learned a few lessons about what not to do with your life like avoiding withdrawals and falling in love with random people you meet in clubs
A girl at a cash register asked Dan and I if we went together.....this is not the first time and we laughed. We both bought sushi.....mine was kick ass and his was lamo. Spicy shrimp versus tuna? I take spicy shrimp anyday with little rice booties to hold its goodies inside.
Went downtown today to take some pictures with Brit. I took the most amazing shot that we're going to be looking at ten, twenty years down the road in the Soca shop. We went inside these curtain dressing rooms and took turns trying on this white skirt and went to the back and spun. I grabbed my camera while she was spinning and snapped a few shots and was like wow. I'm out of words.
It just worked and then we walked out feeling poor and cheated by something so beautiful but requiring so many greens and snapped a few shots of some older beard infested men sitting along these benches. I wanted to get out of Five Points and explore where you find the greatest pics and we did in a random parking lot that looked like hell but with the awesome but hidden opportunity for both a leading lines and framing shot so we did it.
Walked through the Preserve in ballet flats and my kick ass blazer feeling like a drunken rock star groupie wandering aimlessly through the woods to find great rocks with messages from lovers long ago. And for some reason, I felt really good right then filing behind Brit and having the world's greatest conversation only we can keep.
Even if nothing ever progresses, I will always know.
Life was served to me in a half eaten box of sushi and perfect weather. I feel so alive today
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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
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The shower soundtrack should include The Cure and cheesy Waffle House messups when selecting quarters. I discovered that you should bring friends OJ more often, eat more sushi at the Ferg with a haze of noise in the background, finish an entire beer, discover certain truths in old magazines, dream a little, settle a bit, find comfort in socks, let certain skizills run away from you, order yummy green falafels, avoid Girl Next Door, and miss computers.
I want some music right now. Let's go.
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Sunday, February 20th, 2005
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Okay so New Orleans, a city that never sleeps, simply CANNOT I repeat cannot be put into a tiny paragraph but I am going to try and summarize as brief as I can.
A random comment about weekend plans leads to an embarkment to New Orleans Friday night. The trip itself was a little prolonged and I felt like a little kid who kept asking if they were there yet. I don't think I exceeded three or four times lol. Thank God Jones had printed out some directions because I was on this let's just go, no planning mode. But of course, even randomness requires some sort of layout. We drive, we park, and we go. I had thought the weather would be grand, like I do whenever I travel thinking that my destination will be perfection. But we arrived at nightfall in a city that we both had not revisited in years with no official plans except to eat, walk around, and well of course, there is Bourbon Street, which would be the world's greatest crime not to check out.
I'm wearing freaking capris and my highschoolish converse and we're in an upscale part of the city. He's had a pack of crackers that I kindly offered but of course aren't enough to cure the hunger. Parking and the realization that we are actually here is motivation for us to go and find some "real" food. I decide to be friendly and ask an older couple if we're going the right way to the French Quarter and by chance, they're heading that way too. We follow, are lured into this dark restaurant by an obnoxious imposing guy who asks what we're doing. Just so he knows, we eat here because we are hungry and because it is cajun food. So haha you don't get all the credit sir. I get kickin red beans and rice but do not eat the strange dark sausage. He orders some strange foreign contraption I've never heard of, loves it, and then orders some sinful chocolate cake that I try but cannot muster. Big ass chocolate cake!? This is not the first time that my stomach fails me. Can't help finish chocolate cake and then later around midnight at Cafe du Monde with world renown beignets sitting in front of me and yet, my eyes lie to my stomach. NOt hungry eh? Indeed.
We walk around aimlessly for hours, taking in sites way over my head. We walk in and out of millions of touristy shops. You've got your feathers, your pralines, your beads, your shot glasses, your oh so sexy unfortunately prescribed glasses glasses, and giant chocolate balls. Meet up with sister on Bourbon Street, crazy chance, and am given a lecture that I can't help but want to laugh.
My hands are so cold at this point that I am starting to fear my thawing. We walk in circles many times but the conversation is great, the music is rockin, it's everywhere you go. There is this band with a guy stumming on this crazy metal chest board, you've got your classic rock blaring freakin everywhere and the energy is super charged.
We found Bourbon Street once, we would find it twice but the second time we would be prepared. We journey back to our car, I layer up, we mix leftover Bacardi in cheap Sprite bottles. Choose Sprite to save someone's dignity....girliness haha. Head back, the scene is so much I get distracted and somehow manage to forget my drink. You really truly don't need an excess of alcohol to take in New Orleans....to really experience it.
I have discovered that New Orleans is most definately the most colorful city, you'll find the most killer looking gay guys in the world, a mix of people. The coolest street performers are littered at what seems to be each and every corner. We saw an Elvis, a robot, a puppeteer who I swear looked just like John Malkovich, umm a silver man, a rockstar who stood between two buckets for hours, and this statue who I believed was another street performer but I was wrong just like I thought Rome was another country, not located within Italy.
I am a genius without a coat with lame jokes and a messed up stomach.
New Orleans is a city for the homeless and crazed old ladies who hang baskets out from atop their apartments. There are men doubled over and sprawled out along the streets and little corners. When you're hungry, it's impossible to find food and you manage to take the wrong streets and lead to nowhere and when you're not looking for excitement and something to quinch whatever urges you've got, it's right in front of you.....just that easy somehow.
Beyond the French Quarter, the penguins, sea otters, the albino floating froglets at the zoo, the seedy hotels with creepy boxers hiding beyond the door, broken open cemetaries, homeless men making speeches, the exotic smells, cross dressers, riverwalk that brought this trip together.
Never just picked up quite the way we did. But a trip cannot be completely random. There is always the help of a map and a few givens.
Knights Inn was not chivalrous and old people are fantastic.
Go to New Orleans and eat your heart out.....even if you're not hungry. Should have eaten those Beignets on Friday night instead of rubbery ones on Saturday morning.
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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Soar feet, worn flip flops, boys in red shirts, laughing with kick ass blonde chick........my most favorite girl in the world!!!! Getting love presents from Bon!!!! Stolen and burned Ben Kweller for me!
I wore my sexy crazy green pants today with endless zippers......be careful with your eyes my friend.
Let's see......got no sleep, woke up super super early to nerd it up and hold my eyelids open to read up on astronomy before our big date. Me, the planets, the sun, and all that jazz and I head over to the smelly building with the big ass telescope on top only to find......no exam
Mr. White, the astronomy man, says no exam apparently so I head off, finish my article for the day....I slam it, finish it in like ten minutes, head off to work
Hold an eight hundred necklace in my hand, find out my friend has stopped eating and is disappearing....makes me oh so sad, had some groovin lasagne and peanut brittle, bought myself a new book on sale.....gonna read the Hours before watching the movie
Feet hurt at this point but I get a call from Bon and we meet up at the Ferg and it was so wonderful to sit and stare at her lol for over an hour.
We talk about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness but have made the unfortunate discovery that we are never satisfied.
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Friday, February 11th, 2005
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I've been terribly spoiled. Watch me flail my arms like a crazed two year old!!!!! But this girl's a two year old with candy so I'm bound to keep quiet lol.
Sublimely happy with sleep in eyes and cold bagels. Quite alright, quite alright. I scored major points last night and happy with self: won a battle in a movie store, watched a shark movie without covering my eyes and shitting myself, had a bowl of my favorite cereal without laughs,
Today's climax is tonight and to prepare: je suis besoin a super charged power nap, ace two quizzes like your mother. "Fat like your mother, she eats more calories".......thinking of a random Streets song. Feel like making a new playlist for today. We're moving on from Bitchen to Bliss, so does this go?
Listened to "Piano Man" and "primitive" around 3 this morning. Strange combination but felt right. Hit the spot unlike chewy pork chops or cold feet. Need to get work done and must stop rambling.
Want hot new shoes from urbanoutfitters, red streaks, new socks?, a bag full of M&Ms, AutoFlux, a luncheon session arguing about the news today with Richard....
Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain. I'm over my Maryjane for the first time and it feels like heaven.
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Monday, February 7th, 2005
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| Time: | 1:33 pm. |
| Mood: |  mellow. | | Music: | The Prodigy "Breathe". |
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Smell of waffles is good enough to taste Friday night
Saturday I danced in circles and dipped my finger in pineapple fondu. Felt like a giant in my killer heels.....listened to Portugese and it is truly a beautiful language
Found the sweetest teeshirt on a website that says "Rub my Tummy" I'm Buddha or something lol
Studied my ass off Sunday, ate Chinese with Dan and told him the fortune cookie secret.....which is going to knock that girl off her feet if he does that. I hope that things work out for him.....I really do. If they do Dan, please don't fall off the edge of the earth like Davis lol with his Jessica. I swear she's a modern day Repunzel.....he just can't resist.
I saw a suave red shirted Jones yesterday and received quite a welcoming lol.....(big smile) Glad to have seen him and an hour at Waffle House just doesn't cut it lol. Watched Anchorman and awaited Ben Stiller's classic line and those freakin hilarious facial expressions. Note to self: no more brownies after dinner.
Felt inspired yesterday while watching Billy Elliott and wish I could dance everywhere I go. Although I have some cool places up my sleeve: I've danced at the zoo, danced in Home Depot, Alabama Theatre is a given, danced in various churches, senior home, ummm.....kitchens.....cars, bathrooms, Club Abracadabra for like thirty seconds, and oh recently at Brazilian Carnival Parties
Just read a story about divorce yada and I'm sososososo tired of people splitting up. Solution to divorce crisis: Don't get married! haha or at least not until you're like 80 because by then there won't be so many fishies if you know what I mean.
Oh and yes I love my sister dearly but she gave me quite a fright this weekend. I'm keeping the Vodka and calling her like a big sister should more.
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Friday, February 4th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:51 pm. |
| Mood: |  pleased. | | Music: | "Frontin" Jamie Collum. |
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Close to missing something....or someone.....
"Sitting, waiting, wishing"
And getting
Waffle house and talks about crazy dreams,
soyburgers with not so pleasant faces
I was a creative genius today
Made some smashing quesidillas, read an ungodly amount,
Think I was being observed by this guy writing in his notebook at barnes and noble
Heard a new band Autoflux that knocked my socks off
Being distracted by the O.C. dvd playing
I'm the new fav. older sister
Vodka, Sprite, and drunken little highschool freshmen in the basement
I like late night random posts
but I left too early......
Jones is so suave
Suave.....like that word....yes indeed I do
Got work all day in the morning and then check me out at a Brazilian Carnival Party
Bring out the hotpants and lime eyeshadow baby
Get me some stilettos and fake breasts and then I'm all yours lol
Haha I'm gonna be the whitest most American girl there most likely
Maybe they'll have a snack bar.....alcohol?
There's gonna be a crazy heroin addict in the house around 8 a.m. tomorrow morning......
Is she going to be standing over me when I wake? haha probably not
But come on, this is like a reality based t.v. drama
I swear, whenever I return home, my family has me convinced that it's some sort of soap opera
Man meets woman,
Woman meets man
Kids come together
Along with crack mom
Without the crack mom, you've got nothing.....
As the Streets would say, "Absolutely nuffing"
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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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What I love......
lounging around in giant sweatshirts, blankets, cereal late at night, bizarre movies, late night phone conversations, hot chocolate in sexy mugs, barnes and noble book binges, icing, super commentaries, in your face editorials, compliments, my byline on the front page, black and white photographs, brit rock, hugs, hmmmm......
I felt like I had to be optimistic in the beginning before a nice clean justified rant
I don't like.....
people underestimating me, taken advantage of, really prolonged phone conversations with people you can't understand, missing coffee dates, pulling my hair, misty ice like rain, dreary days, sleepy mornings, tight pants, disappointing desserts, frowns, headaches, and boredom
Read an article in the back of the New York Times that said, "Now girls want to look like guys" and I was like wow....umm...since when? Basically, they should take on the baggy sendrome, hide their curves, lose all makeup, and grow fros.......wild tames
I think I'll stick with my killer levis and most definately my mascara. And I like boys....can you blame me......?
I listened to a woman cry today......I had no earthly idea how to react. My camera broke and I couldn't cry....just sat and felt burned.....I think she did it for me.
No gum in hair but still managed to pull a no good very bad day
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. | | Music: | "Get it Faster" Jimmy Eat World. |
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I remember Alphie's little brother from a Christmas Story writhing on the snow screaming, "I can't get up, I can't get up!" I'm feeling a little stuck myself....but without the puffy layers, snow boots, and snow. I can't pull this feeling out of the hat on one try. In the process of sorting shit out.
This weekend felt like this super charged marathon that I've been selected to participate in without the required Wheaties.....phew.....speaking of, I'm out of Frosted Flakes :(
Racing against raspberry bacardi, puddles, movie marathons, cookies with kisses, silent breakdowns, late nights followed by painful early mornings
"Treefingers" by Radiohead
Showed up for Marrs Field tonight and didn't receive the email with the poetry we were going to discuss. I was forgotten....that's not a great feeling. So I had nothing and left.....I wasn't bitter....more indifferent....I would have liked to have seen him today.
Whenever I walk in the dark to and fro around campus, I always have my ipod on because I get really paranoid by shadows and little mysterious noises. IPOD's on shuffle and "treefingers" comes on. It's this haunting electronic medley....like notes being held on a piano by the damper pedal. One chord after another in direct precession. And I glance up at the trees thinking....life is always the topic of the night. I think of anthropology, i think of survival of the fittest, all tying in in some way or another to the meaning of life. Perhaps life isn't like what Chuck Klosterman said in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. It's not a rival of the classes, not the Celtics v. Lakers, nor is it a battle between cereal eaters and hard core eggs, bacon, and egg buffs. I picture eyes staring up towards the trees, little fingers, little plants reaching
Years, decades, eras pass and life evolves.
Things grow.....they become something greater, have adapted, are successful however you see it
They reach up towards the trees to reach those branches
And they do
Perhaps life isn't a battle, isn't a competition between another
Life is about the individual
It's live or die. Reaching those branches is a personal goal. While the weakest are eliminated, like the weakest link, it's a battle of one.
Treefingers.....life twisting and turning, yurning for the top
I will never be the best. I don't see myself sitting peacefully, effortlessly atop a tree staring at a world I have gained myself any time soon.
See, I am comfortable in this continual climb. I enjoy being a treefinger like the rest of humanity. Only Gods like Trump and Gates make up the arm......and the elbow....who is worthy of such a part.
Little pieces make up the whole. Being forgotten one night is a piece.....it's okay. There are so many pieces.
We peak through the top, sometimes come out through the wrong branch....and sometimes we find ourselves in a pleasant position.
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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I love the feeling of being alive....the discovery of something new and that inner happy feeling you really can't describe.
Woke up at seven this morning to go snap some pics before class today,
Awoke to my hellish alarm, rubbed my eyes, pulled some jeans on and a jacket, grabbed my camera and headed out.
Not knowing where I would go, what I would take, just with the intent of driving
Road to nowhere.
Started out downtown by my work where I have walked by so many times passing abandoned buildings that would make for great pics.
Took some pics looking up at tall buildings, some for lease splotchy buildings, streets, broken windows
Then for some reason, I headed over to my old neighborhood back in the day, walked around this little park that I used to drive my barbie car in and snapped some pics of broken benches but wasn't feeling up to par at this point.
About to give up, I am driving back over the bridge and take a right and drive over to the bridge by the TNews and wow, that was it.
That was the beginning, my wake up call,
The delapitate bridge, the repetition, the morning light, the quiet, the brush, the steel bits, the vines came together and made my day. Brought my senses to life.
Taking pictures is so soothing.....I think I could get used to this. Writing is a way to release angst, make use of your dramatic flare, or whatever it may be
Writing yes, but photography, god that's my new vice.....my nicotine, my break, my payoff, my video game, my zone time
Now if only people will stop ruining my film. This roll has to work.
Found my favorite place in Tuscaloosa around 8:30. It's above the farmer's market in this little concrete concave across from the Station. This grafitti covered wall with painted numbers, broken cement tiles, this beat up little hidden jungle. I want to take a chair from Books A Million, sit it up in the corner and read for hours.....a little picnic perhaps?
So content right now. Really. God I hope this feeling lasts
Pinch yourself today.
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Monday, January 24th, 2005
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| Time: | 5:00 pm. |
| Mood: | cheerful. | | Music: | Scissor Sisters "Laura". |
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You know I've decided I wear my llama coat a bit too much. I'm overplaying it and I don't want to be known as the llama girl and I feel like a poof.....yes I said a poof.
But the dilemma is until today I have no other coat. But wahaha I outsmarted myself. I will recapture an old coat from Bham. But sniff......I don't know when I'm going back.
I envisioned short hair today. Today was a picture out of Vogue. I'm suddenly feeling the need to remake myself.....change a bit. Perhaps get in better shape, put some colors in my hair,.....but money so what the fuck
I tried to sit down again and work on a review for Girl with the Pearl Earring and decided that the book isn't worthy of a great review. It's like trying to win a Pulitzer for a John Grisham book. Easy reading just doesn't make the cut. It cannot compare to the complicated pervish Bone Flute....I mean really. I guess brutal equals better. So I think I'm going to stick with Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs so peoples look for me Wednesday in the CW. You'll like it! I hope :( feel a bit antsy about it.
There might be some ultra conservative people out there that will be offended so I cannot really predict the outcome. And the fact that the word Sex will be in the title provides further justification for ignorant ignoramouses.....did I spell that right?
Mary described me like snow white????? I dunno what to think.
Gonna get my eats on with Bon tonight. Hummus and orgasmic pita bread perhaps?
Ran into a hottie today and chatted. hehe
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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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| Time: | 10:36 pm. |
| Mood: |  drained. | | Music: | Ben Folds "Selfless, Cold, and Composed". |
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Gorilla Theatre last night with my one and only Max!!!! I ran in the cold to make it in time and dirted up my mouth.....
The show rocked....I argued about the best hummus, got to wear my sexy gloves and scarf, got mooned by a white shiny hiney aaahhh haha kinda funny, danced a little bit, then headed back back where I finished my book and stayed up god knows how long.
Nerded it up today, got all my work done and finished an article.
Ate lunch with my grandparents. By the way, I love how little old ladies smell....
They were so messy while they ate and I brushed off my grammy's shirt. I gave them each a five minute hug and was so happy to see them and honestly was sad to go.
Anthropology you give me a headache. I know I'm a hominoid with crazy teeth and an incredible cerebal cortex.
I need a brief interlude of inspiration. Some dramatic event to occur where my thoughts can easily flow and I will feel good about my writing because for the last week, I've felt parched. I am so dry.
But I am feeling? Dry but feeling?
I think I may have lost a friend Friday night. I'm sorry.
But I'm enjoying this trip.....free flight.
Can't beat that.
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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
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Hands were so dry, my thumb bled today. Work and the rift between those stuck in a mediocre working class and those privledged few who have never felt back pains, unfair treatment. Oasis vs. Blur. Who won in the end? Oasis, most obviously because they had better music but there existed a challenge for a while. The rich vs. the poor duked it out.
Let down.....let down. Today was a massive let down. There was this foreboding message awaiting me on my phone. I check it, listen, and enjoy a bitter car ride back to the dorms, knowing.......
There is always something wrong. Fuck up. But yes, it has happened before but I keep pushing, pushing, pushing, freakin pushing.
And you know what? That's okay.
Messy hair, tired feet, tired mind.
Boy without red jacket changed my perspective entirely. I hate feeling like the worst sort of ranter. He is truly wonderful.......blessed. So accepting and understanding....how?
Proof that the day was not completely off par,
received wonderful soup, found a nifty vintage purse, ate with redman, had some yummy sinus clearing chicken, and two little cookies, and heck I think I even smiled haha.
So all in all, had this self realization,
I'm always saying that I don't understand how some people have this amazing, unquestioning faith. I've always thought that we need faith in order to live, which is true. But maybe to them, they need to have faith in God just like I need faith in order to live and keep pushing. Need to be able to have some justification in today, tomorrow, a crappy article and the next feature. Whatever, whenever it comes. I can't give up now, can't get myself down over a moment that will fade. There are reasons, there is destiny. Faith for me right now means believing that things will fall in place and work out.
Yeah, I have cold hands right now. But I predict that they will soon be warming up.
Thank you.
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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
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w healthy study finds that my favorite drink in z world is better than red wine, black and or green tea! What!? Ahhh......hmmm well I'm presuming that means I'll live until I'm eighty, wrinkly, sagging, and wearing oh so precious grammy sweaters.
One may ask, what does the sound of being single sound like? It sounds like Dashboard Confessional having second thoughts to this new found singledom. But a girl can dream in her own emo ways now can't she? Omg I think I just said that.
Read about the Copernicus Revolution.....Gee I'm glad that people don't believe the sun revolves around the earth anymore. Actually, I really don't get this incredible high.
Ran into Mr. Red man today.....told him he was befitting? And yes that is most definately a word.
Apparently, I am fucked up lol. Hmmm.....really?! God this is a miraculous discovery. Thank you my hero lol. No I am fully aware.
Graham Colton coming to Bham in February? Must go.
Missed crazed philosophy discussion tonight. Wasn't feeling up to par. Perhaps it's due to the lack of info from microbiology professors who are too damn busy to talk to me about germies. God!!!! Well there loss. Will not make a germ into a molehill.
New resolution: Give up animal cookies and read more classics. We're going to chew Kafka for real.
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lovelycouture's journal
cold.
lonely.